Monday, September 07, 2009

A Love/Hate Relationship

One day I spend seven hours studying and I feel invigorated at the end. I am in awe of the beauty of the human body, amazed that I can know all this and swooning over the fun of it.

The next day I spend seven hours studying and I am near nervous breakdown at the end. Everything is wrong, I am incapable of all things important and life will never be ok again. I'm crying walking down the sidewalk, not even having the time to sob in private.

I hate not getting something.

The worst was learning to drive. Here's where you're saying, "oh, me too", but your mom didn't have to hire a driver's ed teacher to special tutor you. And, when she did, the tutor did not in fact come back and tell your mother, "she closes her eyes when trucks are coming the other way! I can't drive with her again."

The takeaway lesson is, I drive now. I haven't even ever been in an accident. So, all things are possible.

I love learning. Sometimes learning requires intermediately not getting something. Ugh.


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